Oct 11, 2015

One day, a gamer

Diposkan oleh nitahakeem di 2:53:00 AM
"You re not pay attention or you re not trully care about me besides ur hardware!"
I was like 13 yo when arguing some practice drama to my first boyfriend, which is a gamers. That was something like Ragnarok or whatever the hell of online gaming.

I forgot in 2003 was dota has exist? but for many reason, i blame the subject of game online who's really damn freak.

That was my first boyfriend who make me so hate gamers to the top. I have had many argue cause of the hardware. You know what? talking with a gamer is like you speech with a cpu. 

No respons.

After the argue, we broke up, we broke up for 1 year and have no talking until the end. Suddenly, someday , cause of the moment, we talked again via phone and doing some apologize and take a commitment to be real friends. What we called ? oh pure friend, he said.

Then we goin this relationship until now like a bestfriend, which is i have no heart feeling, either he is. I thought.
Actually, i have done my feelings with a gamer, cause something problem with a gamers make me so traumatic. So when i'm gonna close with someone, i identify him bout he is gamer or not.

really, i vow to my first boyfriend that i hate you, i hate gamers, i hate boyband (the last is compiles thing hahahhaaha)

That was my first.

Everyday goin well with my other relationship until i found someone who's butterfly my heart. 

I thought he is my last choice...

yes my last...

until i know he is a GAMER.

On the first date, he's not look alike a nerd gamer, he's like a possible person who has this real life.

You know what? i thought that a gamers have their own fantasy life. IDK. They re so addicted with their moving graphic on the LCD.

i felt like, "damn, i broke my rules."

"damn i was vowing to my first boyfriend, my second, my third, my fourth that i'm not searching a gamer , either boyband."

but i choose the gamer one.

i'm liking the jackpot!

Everything ruins me. My first boyfriend laughing out loud, like he said that i was too confident to search a perfect bunny despite he just feel funny, not really insult to the bottom.

I feel so yeah? this is too shock me when he plays dota and doesnt have a linked answer when i talked to the chat.

I fell into an anger when we were dating but he plays some billyard games.

totally i wanna said "i was done with this kind of person since 12 years ago then now i'm starting again, like seriously??"

..... btw i lost my blog writing one hours ago cause i close the homescreen in my iphone, now i'm blackout....


My purefriend talking to me that it is nice relationship to talk about, which is gamer isnt that bad as i imagine.

"What the hell you talk about my traumatic cause you just not caring me 12 years ago?"

"Did he like me? not caring you for 6 hours?"

"Nope.." I thought.

Alright then, my logics blew up. I know  this cant be end up with EGO.

I'm not an uptown girl who search a neophyt of King of Empire.

I was so hurtbreaking of a gamer when i was a child of 13 yo. But now, i'm growing up.

I grow old with a kind of mindset. From a big logic things that realize me the one things.

Seriously this isnt bout loving anymore.

Love making you have the abundance of tolerance. Sooo Big until you cant reach yourself to the top.

"That wasnt logic, that was love."

But this is bout humans. 
Human have something to quality their time for. 
this activity make a human have an equal life.

Mentally, judgemental, and the hobbies.

I'm in my one year relationship, and i know that i cant use the ego to make this relationship work out. I'm not that child switi bebi bala bala who need a pay attention from his boyfriend all day long. In my age, i need a Quality.

My quality.
My value.
My time.

and he does either.

Everyone deserves to be happy in their quality way. 
Everyone get bored from the stagnan relationship, everyone need a break sometimes from the rutinity, everyone need to pause the hectic day of life.

and he deserves it.

He deserves to be a gamer.
Whatever it takes.

As long as human realize how to manage timing, how to bring himself in a real life.

Oh, i might not interested in game... but i could say that i'm too easy to get boring of rutinity.

I love shopping, but 3 hours later i'm done tired.

I love reading, but one hours later i get sleepy.

I love listening music, but 30 minutes later i would love to continues my k-drama on dvd.

I love gym-ing, but tomorrow i feel so pain and take a break even it relax me.

So i get the conclusion of : I'm the various person i've ever know.

I have none activity i liked so much, i'm too easy to be bored on one things. 

The new variation will attrack me and interested.

like, bussines maybe?

Hence, i try to understand people. 
I try to understand that human just wanna be a human. This not bout love, this is bout life.

You have your love, in order to synergy your life.

A partner to accompany your life, not for ruins your day when doing a rude activity.

Sometimes it's bout carreer, travelling, hobbies, studying, but they re in a compilation of love.

You search someone who's understand your passion, your activity of human.

I'm not 13 yo girl now, i'm 25.

ho? seriously i'm 25??


however love is melting in a good way when finding your last lover.
Yeah, love is having. 

it's oke that human have a quality time to search whatever value they want, but i disagree if you did it until you ignore your couple.

Oh no no no.

Thats not a good relationship at all.

Thats not a marriage if you ignore ur partner just because you're too busy too relaxing your mind with the activity in outer circle your partner.

You have to make your partner understand, to make them synergy with that mind.

Yeah... i'm not denying that in a big chance, i need a quality time, talking with my best friends, hang out with other person outer circle of my company (this is so important when you get bored talking with the banker)

And it often happens in my life. hahahaha. When i need a quality time of drawing and so on...

But yeah, fine, i'm dealing a gamer. As long as they deal with my feeling. :p

As long as they understand that i need a variant of quality time of myself and dont tell me how to doin this with their arrogant way.

the most important is.... as long as this is still exist in normal things :  As a human, as a couple so they could synergy for whatever reason.

xoxo, nitahakeem

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